


I Didn't Say It Then

by izzybelledot



Category: DCU, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Consequences, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Good Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, MariBat, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Deserves Better, Marinette Dupain-Cheng-centric, Post-Battle, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Why Did I Write This?, but im a sucker for marinette angst, but only just mentioned, children are too good at being soldiers, for once, miraculouses are not meant to be used for evil, no beta we die like jason, not my best ewritting, so it's crappy, sry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzybelledot/pseuds/izzybelledot
Summary: The war is finally over, but that doesn't mean that Marinette can go back to before. Wars have consequences, and Marinette has always been willing to do whatever it took to win.But Jason wished she hadn't done it anyways.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Jason Todd, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Jason Todd
Comments: 7
Kudos: 237





	I Didn't Say It Then

Ladybug’s eyes weren’t filled with tears like Adrien’s had been when Gabriel Agreste had been unmasked. 

Ladybug wasn’t screaming as Kagami had. 

She wasn’t bargaining, trying to fix anything as Chloe had been. 

She just sat, staring blankly at the two miraculousness in her hand. Gabriel and Nathalie being escorted to the police by Nightwing and Red Robin. Robin was helping Kagami, while the Bat himself was consoling Adrien. Figures Bruce would immediately move to comfort the boy who was practically an orphan. 

Ladybug stared at her hand, unsure what she felt-what she was supposed to feel. 

She had been fighting for _years. _Everyone else had just been temporary heroes, even Adrien had taken a break from being Cat Noir a few years back. She alone had never had the option to not be Ladybug. Ladybug was who she was, all she was really. The Ladybug suit was like her second skin, to take off the suit would be to flay her alive and lay her bare to the elements.__

__She was nothing if not Ladybug._ _

__

__“Hey, love.”_ _

__Ladybug turned, finding Red Hood facing her. She couldn’t see his expression of course, not with his helmet, so she didn’t know what he felt. She automatically assessed his posture, his weapons, his stance. She turned back to the miraculousness after a moment, finding that she didn’t particularly care what happened to her at this point._ _

__She trusted Red Hood, but she couldn’t remember why at the moment. They had worked together for years, it made sense she trusted him. His hand was on her elbow, attempting to comfort her. She didn’t feel that she needed to be comforted._ _

__“I’m gonna pick you up now, hold tight,” He whispered to her softly. And then his arms were hooked under her knees, bracing her against his chest. She tightened her hand around the miraculous, it would be stupid to lose them now after everything they had gone through._ _

__Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder if she wanted to lose them. Maybe if she lost it she could search for it again, but it wouldn’t be the same._ _

__

__Nothing would **ever** be the same. _ _

__

__The breeze stung against her skin, the little of it exposed. She looked up, finding Red Hood completely focused on his steps. He was taking her somewhere, maybe her apartment, maybe his. It could have been to the bakery for all she knew, though she knew he would never take her back there._ _

__She hadn’t been there in over a year since her parents had disowned her for hurting Lila. They would call her soon since Lila had been outed as an accomplice to Hawkmoth. She didn’t think she would pick up the phone, she had no reason to. They hadn’t been her parents in years, had never truly supported her. They let her attend a school where she was continuously bullied by Chloe and had believed a stranger claiming that she had bullied them without any proof._ _

__

__Red Hood ducked into the apartment, her apartment._ _

__Red Hood set her down on the couch in her small apartment, tucking her against his side. She felt his chest rise and fall beneath her cheek, steady, and present. “Say ‘spots off,’ my love.”_ _

__Ladybug didn’t respond, not sure why she should bother. Her transformation would wear off soon, and she wasn’t looking forward to it. Wasn’t looking in general. She felt like a discarded action figure, not human, not completely anyway._ _

__Jason adjusted them so that he was sitting across from her, holding her forearms in his hands. Both his masks were off, probably discarded somewhere on the floor. He had a bad habit of doing that, she should remind him to hang his mask up. Remind him to put his helmet on the coffee table at least. She should._ _

__“It’s over. You won, Marinette,” He stated plainly, but she could see the fractured emotion in his eyes. She didn’t know why he was hurt, didn’t know what he wanted from her. But her name sounded strange to her ears, the name that she had been called for years never felt more alien to her. His hands tightened, making her blink up at him._ _

__“You don’t have to be Ladybug anymore, you don’t have to be her. You can rest now.”_ _

__She didn’t have time to rest, didn’t have time. She had spent so long tracking down Hawkmoth, building a case against him. There was always more to do, the war wasn’t over. She had won another battle, she couldn’t afford to let her guard down now._ _

__She realized that Jason was crying, gentle tear tracks running down his face. She didn’t know how to fix that, but she tried anyway. She shakily reached forward, swiping at his tears with trembling hands. He slowly raised a hand to cover hers, pausing its movements on his cheek._ _

__“You don’t have to be alright. You might never be alright again,” She couldn’t tell if he was talking to her or to himself. His gaze bore into hers, but it felt like there was static between them somehow. There was static separating her from everything, she was trapped. Trapped behind a thin veil of magic, which stuck to her close and kept her alone. “But I’m always gonna be here. And you’re gonna find peace, I want to help you find peace.”_ _

__Her hands had strayed down from his face, resting on the collar of the jacket that Jason wore over his suit. She felt the fabric in her hands, felt the seams there, before looking back into Jason’s eyes. “Okay.”_ _

__He let out a shaky breath, more tears running down his face. “Do you remember the fight?”_ _

__She remembered the lair. She remembered seeing Adrien _shatter _at the sight of his absent father. She remembered pain, a deep throbbing in her skull. She remembered her fingers closing around the miraculous. “No,” She responded because she did not remember fighting.___ _

____“When you took the brooch, there was a magical backlash. Miraculousneses aren’t meant to be used for evil, so both you and him split the pain and isolation that Hawkmoth forced upon Paris. It would have just been him, to shoulder all of Paris’s torment, but you were kind,” Jason let out a small breathless chuckle, tucking her bangs behind her ear. “You’ve always been too kind. And the butterfly thing says it’s temporary, you will be able to feel more again it just-“_ _ _ _

____His hands traced small swirls under her eyes, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers. “It might take a while, and it’ll be hard.”_ _ _ _

_____Marinette _nodded, seeing the sympathy and understanding in his eyes as her transformation finally wore off. Jason had always been incredible, understanding her so deeply. And while he was emotionally constipated, he did show his care. “Oh.”__ _ _ _ _

______He nodded again, chuckling bitterly. He leaned back to press a light kiss to her temple before standing. She wondered if she should stand as well, but then he brought over a large heavy blanket. He wrapped it around her, adjusting her so she leaned her cheek against his chest. She could feel his heartbeat, and it felt a bit offbeat to her. Not quite right, and she wondered if it was an effect from the Pits, or if she was just going crazy._ _ _ _ _ _

______She wouldn’t be surprised._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Marinette, I want to say something to you,” Jason admitted, voice careful and hesitant. She felt the vibrations in his chest from his voice, felt the light puffs of breath against her hair. She wondered if her heart was as offbeat as his was, if her breath could be felt through his suit if her short responses shook his chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I love you,” His voice cracked, his breathing becoming much more unsteady. “You told me you loved me right before the fight. But I didn’t say it back.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She felt the hair on top of her head grow wet, so she figured he must be crying. She felt the material of his jacket bunched up uncomfortably against her skin, creasing there to press marks into her skin. She didn’t care enough to move. “I didn’t say it then, and it feels that I might be too late, but-“_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______His voice was quiet, holding her close to him as if she were made of glass. “I love you, Mari.”_ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't really clear with what happened I don't think, but I don't think I can clarify within the actual fic without abandoning Marinette's narrative altogether. 
> 
> After the final battle, Nooroo tells Marinette that the Miraculous will cause a backlash to amend for the pain and isolation that was inflicted on Paris for Gabriel's actions. Gabriel would have spent the rest of his life basically without emotions, just like he forced Paris to have to live- but Marinette offers a compromise. 
> 
> Gabriel Agreste will live the rest of his life having a hard time understanding his emotions, and she will temporarily be unable to feel emotions fully. She'll be able to feel more as time goes on, but at the moment emotions don't really affect her. 
> 
> :)


End file.
